Getting Started

If you believe your marriage is in trouble, there are several ways you can and should protect yourself:

1. Don't sign any papers and negotiate on your own. If your spouse requests that you sign any agreements, documents, contracts, promissory notes, deeds, mortgages, etc., refrain. The consequences of signing such papers may be irreparable and detrimental to your case. Just as important as not signing any documents, you should not verbally agree to any terms or agreements prior to talking to an experienced family law attorney.
2. Hire an Experienced Family Law Attorney. Choosing the right attorney to represent you is an important, and often difficult, decision. In making the decision, you should look for an attorney who is:
• Professional: Your attorney should look and sound like a professional person. If you meet with a lawyer who is inappropriately dressed, is not well-spoken, who keeps a disorganized, sloppy office, or whose office is in an unusual place, these might be problem signs.
• Competent: Divorces often involve important issues such as the custody of children and complex financial issues. You should entrust these important considerations to someone who has the knowledge and skill to handle them competently.
• Respectful: Your attorney should treat you as an adult who needs help with a problem. He or she should recognize that you are in an emotional situation, and not ridicule or embarrass you because you are in a relationship that has not worked out.
• Compatible: Your attorney will be helping you through an unfamiliar and often traumatic period of your life. Throughout the process, you may need to disclose intimate or even embarrassing information to your attorney. Your attorney must be someone with whom you are comfortable under these circumstances.
• Candid: Throughout your divorce, you may have to make numerous difficult decisions. It is imperative that your attorney is open and honest with you in helping you make these decisions, rather than simply telling you what you want to hear. While the truth about a given situation may be unpleasant, it is to your benefit to be fully informed.
3. Don't move out of the marital residence. Especially in situations where there are children involved and custody is a concern, do not move out of the marital residence without talking to your attorney first. If you are in danger and have no choice but to leave, take the children with you.
4. Put your Documents in Order and Keep them Secure. Make sure your valuable documents are stored in a safe place so that you have access to them at all times. Critical financial documents include tax returns, insurance policies, real estate documents, mortgages, debt information, bank statements, investment accounts, income information and any benefit programs.
5. Close Joint Financial Accounts. If you and your spouse have any joint credit cards, charge accounts or bank accounts, you should immediately close, cancel or freeze those accounts. Be sure to keep sufficient documentation about any outstanding balances at the time the account was closed, or, if you are closing a joint bank account, keep accurate documentation of the balance at the time the account was closed as well as an accounting of any transfers, deposits or withdrawals made to or from the account.
6. Establish Your Own Credit. Before you begin any divorce proceedings, you should make sure that your name is attached to any real estate documents, vehicle titles, pension accounts or other investment accounts. In addition, after you have closed any and all joint financial accounts, you should acquire a credit card and bank account in your name alone.
7. Create an Inventory of your Assets. Take inventory of your personal property. Photograph, list, and value all property. List property you wish to receive. If you consider any property to be your "non-marital" property, (gifts, inheritance, items belonging to you prior to marriage), create a document trail on how the property was acquired.
8. Journal all Monthly Expenses and Save Receipts. Keep an accurate accounting of your monthly income and expense. Keep all receipts and deposit tickets. Be cautious of your spending and avoid frivolous shopping sprees.
9. Take Care of Yourself. Establish a support system consisting of family, friends, neighbors, etc. Take care of your health. Take care of your children. Keep working-don't quit your job.
10. Play Nice. Don't be mean just to be mean; don't be petty just to be petty. Take the higher ground. Avoid spousal bashing, especially in front of your children. In the end, your divorce will be more bearable and it will be easier for you to move forward.